Finally....

So long after my last post, I got back my story...

I guess I'll post it, but keep in mind that this is still not my best work since I shrunk it for the word limit that only really existed in my head..
If I feel like it, or if I'm asked, I'll post the full version of this story...but for now, enjoy...

Question : Write A Story Based On The Words, "She held her son close by her side as she walked quickly along the narrow road. This was the moment. "
(You can see from the question that it's supposed to be written in the 3rd-person [or so my English Teach said]....which is my least favourite style of writing, either way, I did it...but anyway, enough of my ranting)


An old cottage in the middle of the forest, burnt to cinders, the culprit; one husband, Jeff, the victims; his wife, Jeanette, and son, Thomas.He stumbled away from the wreckage he created, probably off to find a bar, that was the kind of person he was, his wife was nowhere to be seen.
Just then, a figure arose, her white skin paler than usual, her hair, now jet black, hung in front of her face like a creature from a horror movie, but the figure was no creature, but only Jeanette.
Her son got up out of the ashes that was now his bed and went to his mother's side.
A hooded silhouette entered the clearing where the old cottage once proudly stood, it will no longer display to the world its red shingles and will never again show its beautiful structure, all that was left was destruction.
Each time Jeanette or Thomas blinked, the hooded figure approached at a shocking pace until they were a few feet away from them.
" I am the deity of life and death." they said, still drawing nearer. When the figure stepped into the light, it was clear why they were the deity of life and death, around their right foot instantly fresh grass and small wildflowers, Thomas rubbed his eyes to ensure he wasn't dreaming, and around his left foot was the opposite, all the grass near it withered and died.
Jeanette pulled her hair back and stood in awe of the hooded deity. Thomas, being only seven, wanted to reach forward to touch the figure but was afraid of what might happen.
" I was summoned here because I sensed your death." She nodded, " It was Jeff, wasn't it ?" her voice chimed like sweet bells but was covered in bitterness. The deity nodded and said in a solemn tone, " I know you want to take revenge, but that isn't possible. You must find Heaven's Light or your souls will be trapped here for eternity." At this Jeanette's ears perked up, taking revenge suddenly lost its savour, " Where is this light ?" "It is in a clearing near to this location, you will have two hours to search for it before you are condemned." the deity answered.
When Jeanette heard this she became awe-struck," Two hours ? I should have at least a day, please." The deity shook their head and said more solemnly than before," I'm sorry, that's just the way it is." and for a moment, the deity almost sounded human.
The deity turned around and before Jeanette could stop it, they vanished. Jeanette and Thomas moved off and checked the nearest clearing, nothing was there. They continued searching, finding more dead-ends until the reached one particularly good looking trail to a clearing, she held her son close to her as she walked quickly along the narrow path. This was the moment, all but three minutes remained, Jeanette and Thomas entered the clearing and saw a light shining down in the middle of it. The deity appeared in the middle of the light," Congratulations, you have found Heaven's Light, I will now allow you to cross over to the other side." The deity took two steps back and Jeanette and Thomas moved into the light where they ascended higher and higher until they vanished.
There was no report of Jeanette or Thomas' deaths, it was as if they had never existed, but Jeff was later found guilty of arson and murder, he was sentenced to life in prison, where he was last seen.


Ok, that's it...my first story (wouldn't be my favourite) on this blog... as I said, this wasn't what I originally planned for this story...I originally planned 2 deities (one of Life and one of Death.) and I didn't plan for Heaven's Light to be so easy to find.. ( I actually planned for them to have to take a bus, where a small child would notice them and explain to their mother what they were seeing).... but alot of things had to be cut out...

Two things that I kept in this version was the fact that I never revealed whether the deity was male or female.
The other thing I kept was the fact that Thomas never spoke....some people may argue that he was a minor character and he didn't need any lines, but I could've given him lines...
The intention was for the reader to wonder whether he had the ability to speak at all or if he only became mute after death, or some other possibility.

Note : I know there may/will be mistakes, so if you see any, please leave a comment saying what it is and I'll fix it as soon as possible..